


Pick Up Line Disaster

by devil



Category: Rayman (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-19
Updated: 2013-07-19
Packaged: 2017-12-20 17:43:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/890047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devil/pseuds/devil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone’s favorite Greenbottle, Murfy, gets lucky enough to have some run ins with some of the most beautiful women in the Glade, the Nymph’s. However, luck doesn’t seem to be on his side at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pick Up Line Disaster

Betilla - 

"And make sure you brush your teeth and change your underwear everyday, like the good little boy you are!" Murfy calls out to Rayman as the teenage boy runs off into the distance, Globox and their Teensie friends following close behind. In response, the blonde boy flips the man, sending Murfy into a laughing fit. 

Next to him, Betilla gives a slight roll of her eyes, but smiles. "I wish them the best of luck on their journey."

"Oh yeah, me too. The world is in such grave danger, oooh!" Murfy dramatically cowers then laughs more. "Hey, Bell. That reminds me, think you can give me some directions?"

"I can try, where is it you need to go?"

"Your heart," he purrs at her. "I keep trying to get there, but I keep getting lost in your beautiful eyes~."

"Oh Murfy," she shakes her head, letting out small chuckle. "I don't think my boyfriend would like that very much. Speaking of, I have a date to get to. I hope you know the way out of this jungle."

Giving Murfy a small pat on the back, she vanishes, leaving the man to realize he did not, in fact, know his way out.

\---

Holly Luya -

A concert, admittedly, wasn't the best place to flirt with someone, especially so close to the band, but with Holly Luya right next to him, Murfy couldn't pass up the chance. However, Murfy found himself yelling pick up lines to her, instead of saying them smoothly, and she still couldn't hear them. 

After a few minutes of trying to flirt and failing, Murfy feels something pecking on his head, and to his surprise looks up to see a very angry looking yellow bird. Squawking louder than the music, it pecks him right in the middle of the forehead.

Throwing it off of him, he looks around for Holly, to see she's gone. Sighing, he tries to enjoy the music.

\---

Edith Up - 

Once a year, King Bert, the Teensie in charge of Gourmand Land, would hold a spectacular feast for inhabitants all across the Glade to attend. It was always a fantastic event, one that would be talked about for months, and sometimes it would last for days. This particular year, Murfy ended up being seated next to the beautiful Nymph Edith Up.

The Greenbottle, known for being a notorious flirt, was chatting the woman up. Surprisingly, she didn't seem to mind, even with all the pick up lines.

"Wow, you really like Mexican food, huh, Edith?" Murfy motions to the food on her plate. "Me too, in fact, I wouldn't mind eating your taco, if you know what I mean."

Unable to keep herself from giggling, the Nymph tries to cover her mouth, shaking her head. 

Taking this as a good sign, Murfy continues, holding up a strip of bacon from his plate. "Well, how do you feel about bacon? Wanna strip for me? I mean, from me?" 

Again, the fairy laughs, enjoying the flirting. "Aren't you charming, Murfy? Do you talk to all the girls like this?"

"Only ones as pretty as you, and I've gotta say, you're as hot as your food. You know, all that food you have looks good, but I'm a stud muffin. Why don't you take a bite, baby?" 

"Oh my!" Edith makes the mistake of trying to eat while Murfy is talking, and nearly spits out her food as she starts laughing again, blush on her face. "What a cutie you are."

"Do you have any raisins, Edith? No? How about a date then, with me~?"

Edith doesn't even have time to let out an amused giggle, as a fire ball goes flying past the two of them. Everyone's head snaps in the direction it came from, seeing a very, very pissed off looking Prince Tito, the Fire Teensie and Bert's younger brother. 

Face red, crimson eyes narrowed, and his fiery hair a mess, the man looked a little more than terrifying. Raising a finger, he points it to Murfy, while in his other hand, he conjures up another fire ball, chucking it at the Greenbottle. "YOU'RE DEAD, MURFY!"

Just barely avoiding it, Murfy flies up, his coattails getting scorched, though he didn't have time to worry about that now, instead, he had to flee from the madman who's girlfriend he was just flirting with.

\---

Annetta Fish - 

Fishing wasn't something Murfy did too often. Long hours in the sun with little to no talking weren't exactly his thing, especially with how big of a mouth he had. Still, he found it to be somewhat relaxing at times, so that's why he did it, and after what happened at the Gourmand Land Banquet he needed some relaxation. Though today, it was anything but. 

After being here all day, he didn't have a single fish to show for it. About to give up, a glint of shining blue in the water catches his eye, and moments later, Annetta fish, the Nymph who inhabited this place, emerged from the water.

Fishing could wait, a beautiful wet woman was a better catch. Tossing his rod to the side, he gets up to greet the Nymph, grinning wide and bowing. 

"Good day, Annetta. Out for a swim?"

Warily, she eyes the man, having past experience with him. Squeezing water out of her hair, she shrugs. "Something like that...why are you here, Murfy? This isn't a nude beach."

Ouch. That would hurt his game a bit, quickly though, he recovers from the remark, trying to win her over. "Oh I was, but as soon as I saw you I gave up. There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back home."

Annetta's eyes go wide for a moment, before she smiles sweetly. "Is that so, Murfy? Because I'm sure I could help you find an even better fish!"

At that, she snaps her fingers, then disappears, leaving Murfy confused. He looks around, trying to figure out what she meant by that, until he hears a noise. Turning around, he feels his heart stop. A swarm of piranha were heading his way. Ones that didn't look like they would let a little land get in their way of a feast. 

Gulping, Murfy hightails it out of there.

\---

Fee De La Mort - 

The Land of the Livid Dead was a place Murfy tried to avoid at all costs, and for good reason too. It's inhabitants tended to be rude and childish, loving to play pranks on unsuspecting victims. Then again, as a pretentious Greenbottle, Murfy probably wasn't in any place to judge. 

But with his friend and parttime God, Bubble Dreamer, trusting him to take something to one of his daughters, there was no way he could say no. So now he walked through the land, jumping at every sound and flinching away when things got to close. Of course, he wasn't scared. Not Murfy, he was used to things like this. It was just like being in a movie, a very dangerous movie. Or something. That's how he was going to justify it in his mind.

"You know, in movies like this, people usually die." A raspy voice spoke from behind into his ear then giggled. All color drained from Murfy's freckled face, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. Wiping around, he comes face to face with Fee De La Mort, the fairy of the Livid Dead.

"Uh, hey there, uhm. Fee. How are you? Good? That's nice." Wanting to get this over with as quick as possible, Murfy fumbles around with the bag he was carrying, taking a package out of it and handing it to her. "This is from your, uh, dad! Nice seeing you, bye!"

Before he can make his escape, he's stopped by something grabbing onto his wings. 

"Greenbottle wings would be great for this potion I am making," she murmurs before laughing in a way that has Murfy shivering. "You know, Murfy, I heard you've been flirting with all my sisters. Aren't you going to give me the same treatment?"

"I, uh, no offense, Fee. But you are one freaky chick." As soon as those words leave his mouth, Murfy regrets it, feeling a tentacle that seems to come out of no where squirm up him, wrapping around his body. Sighing, he talks under his breath. "I don't know how Rayman puts up with you."

"He knows what it's like to feel love, unlike you, pathetic man," She whispers in his ear again, then gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Now be gone."

As soon as it appeared, the tentacle that held him disappeared, along with Fee. Murfy can't ever remember running as fast as he did out of there. It would be a long, long time before he visited the Land of the Livid Dead again.

\---

Helena Handbasket -

Just Murfy's luck. A small storm came out of no where, and as any flying creature knew snowy, stormy weather was the worst kind of weather for flying in. Teeth chattering, the man fights the harsh wind, nearly falling into the snow. If anyone asked, he would claim to have gracefully fluttered down, though. 

"J-jeez. Talk about a crash landing." The ginger shakes his head, snow flying off of it. 

"Are you alright?"

Murfy freezes up at the voice, both startled and embarrassed someone saw him fall. Looking up, the first thing he notices are long legs and his jaw nearly drops. The farther he looks up, the more amazed he is, eye tracing the nearly too short dress, ample chest and beautiful face. It takes every amount of self restraint Murfy has to not make some sort of noise at the sight her.

Quickly, he's able to recognize her as Helena Handbasket, the Nymph of the Mystical Pique. Scrambling to get on his feet, brushing snow off of his pants, he tries recovering, acting as suave as possible. Taking her hands, he grins.

"I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you."

The Nymph raises a brow, looking unsure for a moment, before she starts laughing. Surprised at that reaction, Murfy tries again, saying the first line to come to mind. 

"You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?" Waggling his eyebrows at her, he winks, this only gets more laughter to his disappointment. 

"Aren't you a funny one? " She sighs contently, laughter calming down. "I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. C'mon now, let's get you somewhere warm. You'll catch your death out here, sweetie."

Removing her hands from his, she wraps an arms around him, leading him to her mountain cottage. Murfy can't help but grin in both excitement and hope. Finally, one of his awesome pick up lines worked!


End file.
